There’s a line in the movie Hairspray from 2007 uttered by Miss Maybelle (played by Queen Latifah) when her son Seaweed brings white classmates home from school with him. Seaweed introduces Penny to Miss Maybelle and Penny says, “I’m very pleased and scared to be here”. “Here” being a predominantly black neighborhood. Maybelle’s reply was, “Now, honey, we got more reason to be scared on your street”.
Since
the first time I saw the movie, this line has been rolling around in my mind.
Like
y’all, as I have aged and had more life experience, my thoughts and opinions
have evolved through the years. Things that I thought to be true simply aren’t
true, either because I initially learned them incorrectly or because the world
has changed. Conversely, things that I thought weren’t true, are true.
I’ll start with something easy and mostly relatable to illustrate my point. You heard a great song as a kid. You learned all the lyrics. You have been singing this song for years, perhaps decades. One day you hear the song performed by a different artist and some words sound different to you. You take to Google, and WHOA! You realize you have been singing different words forever!!
What do you do with that information? Do you argue with Google? Do you rant on the internet about how XYZ changed the lyrics to this great song? Chances are, you are a reasonable person, and you say, maybe sheepishly, wow, I’ve been singing the wrong words all these years. Now that you have this information, do you continue to sing the wrong lyrics? Of course not. You accept that you learned (or heard) the lyrics wrong and move on.
Why
is it so difficult for us to translate this premise to other issues? Why do we refuse
to see another side if it’s different from what we know? Why can’t we
listen to new information and make informed choices? Why do we dig in our heels
and defend our position when faced with contradictory information? Why can’t we
admit that we are misinformed? When someone presents us with facts that are the
opposite of what we thought to be true, why do we continue to hold onto
archaic, misinformed tenets?
Why
are we so afraid to be wrong?
Some
years ago I wrote a Facebook post about white privilege. I wrote how when I
first heard the phrase, I was indignant. I wasn’t privileged, how dare someone
call me privileged! At some point, I heard ~really heard~ the word white
and understood that white privilege is vastly different from having means.
From there it was easier to open my eyes, my mind, and my heart to acknowledge
that white privilege exists, racism isn’t gone, and yes, I had been wrong
for years. In short, my outlook evolved.
I
am ashamed of how long it took me to realize this. I went to a great school,
and I had no idea that my friends of color were dealing with racism. I worked
in a store where the clientele were predominantly people of color, and it never
occurred to me to treat any customer any differently because of how they
looked. We lived in Chicago, and we had friends who were from all corners of
the world. It never occurred to me that any one of them was facing bigotry. Because
of my limited scope, seen through the eyes of a white person, there was no
racism because I wasn’t racist. I didn’t see it happening to my friends. I
honestly thought racism was a thing of the past.
Then
we moved back to Buffalo.
I
was genuinely surprised by how segregated my city was (and is). Was it like this
the entire time I lived here before leaving for Chicago? The answer was yes, yes
it was. That, my friends, is white privilege in a nutshell. Having the luxury
of being oblivious to the fact that the evils of racism are alive and well is
the very foundation of white privilege.
I hope that you can be
open to learning the hard things. I hope you are willing to have the hard
conversations. I hope you are willing to evolve. I hope I continue to listen, learn, and
evolve.
I
hope.
