Dr, Touchy-Feely and the Deviated Septum

A long time ago (back in the 1990s), in a city far, far (about 600 miles west of where I am now) away, my PCP wanted me to deal with my sinus problems once and for all. Ever since I was a teen, I called myself “Our Lady of Perpetual Sinus” because I was constantly congested. My PCP referred me to an ENT who my husband and I called Dr. Touchy-Feely.

Dr. Touchy-Feely didn't touch me in a predatory way, he just made it a habit of touching you when he talked to you. He would touch your arm, a “safe” part of your leg, he would touch a shoulder, but in a way that I suppose was meant to show his sincerity, emphasis, and self-assurance. He did it to me, and he did it to my husband. He was an equal opportunity toucher.

During my first visit to Dr. Touchy-Feely, he looked at my CT scan and told me I needed surgery. I had teeny-tiny sinuses*, and a deviated septum. One side of my nose was nearly closed off because of the deviation in my septum. Though he wanted to do surgery, I asked him to try non-surgical options first. He did. For almost two years. One visit he said, “LouAnn, really. It's time”. He meant it was time to do the surgery that deep down I always knew I needed. I was only prolonging the inevitable.

Once I agreed to the surgery, He casually mentioned that he could perform any cosmetic procedure because he was already fixing my septum and insurance would cover essentially anything done to my nose. Though I had a very large nose with a bump in it, it was me. I didn't want to become unrecognizable because of a medical procedure. I did consent to him straightening my nose and shortening the tip of my nose. I specifically told him that I didn't want the nose of an iconic fashion doll. It's a lovely nose, it's just a nose that wasn't meant for my face.

We went over the risks, the downtime, what he would do during the procedure, and what I should expect. I know he said, “You can expect some swelling and some discoloration”. In my head, I didn't think I was going to look like I went through the windshield of a car. You can imagine my surprise when I looked in the mirror.

In the post-op consultation before my release, Dr. Touchy-Feely told me that I bled more than he expected, and the discoloration was due to the blood settling. Oh. Great.

Once I looked less scary, I felt a lot better. My sinuses didn't bother me at all. For a while. I'm not sure how long I was actually better, but last summer, I really started noticing lots of problems. The first problem is that I was having a hard time breathing. I've been on several different antibiotics and a few courses or steroids with little or no relief.

I finally mentioned it to my neurologist (only because I saw her before my PCP) and she referred me to an ENT locally. I told my husband that if this ENT mentions surgery, I'm not going to prolong the torture.

I had my consultation with the new ENT this past Thursday. He looked at my MRI and asked if I had injuries to my face. I told him that I don't make a habit of fighting and I hadn't face-planted, so I didn't recall any injuries.

My septum is deviated again, almost closing my nose on one side again, and the inside of my nose is corkscrewed. He also mentioned something about the sides of my nose, but I don't remember exactly what it was. Basically, all this translates to surgery for LouAnn. Again.

He did say something very interesting. He said whoever did the original procedure didn't do it properly. He pointed out all the reasons why it was, for lack of a better word, botched. What's interesting about Dr. Touchy-Feely is that he was a fellow in Otolaryngology and he's still ranked as one of the best ENT's in the nation.

I haven't been scheduled for surgery yet, but I'll keep you updated.

*not a medical term