Because I Can

I am 5 weeks into my six-week challenge. So far, I've lost 19.8 pounds. One week to go to officially lose .2 pounds or 10.2 pounds for my personal goal.

Overall, I feel better since losing some weight. Until I start working out. Then my weakness becomes apparent. I got noodle legs and shaky arms. Instead of it being easier to do overhead presses, I'm finding I can't do them as well as I could 5 weeks ago. I can see my arms shaking, and it's not just a tremor. It's a full-blown shaking; you can truly see my arms straining to complete the exercise.

I knew my balance wouldn't improve, what with my black hole and all, but I can see it worsening. I used to be able to do moves when both my feet were on the floor without losing my balance (except for squats). Now, I'm losing my balance more frequently doing simple things.

Of course, it's getting warmer, too, and that does not help.

My symptoms always worsen when I'm overheated. I posted something earlier today from multiplesclerosis.net called “Is it an MS Relapse or a Pseudoexacerbation?”. Originally I'd been thinking that I was having a relapse, but after reading that article, I'm thinking it might be a pseudoexacerbation. This Friday is my last workout, so I'll see if I feel any different by the following week.

I read a few articles about muscle weakness and MS. The most informative article was also the most disturbing. “Damage to the nerve fibers (demyelination) in the spinal cord and brain that stimulate the muscles can also cause weakness. The muscles are not receiving the nerve impulses they require in order to work effectively – which often results in a reduction in endurance. Because the source of this type of weakness is impaired nerve conduction, weight training to strengthen the affected muscles is not effective – and may even increase feelings of weakness and fatigue.”

I've been wondering why I'm feeling weaker rather than stronger the past week. This might explain it. Or it might be from being overheated. Funny thing, this MS. Even after knowing my diagnosis for close to 13 years, I'm still not sure about what's going on inside.

Essentially, I'm either helping myself or causing more damage. Well, one thing is certain, it's easier moving less weight than more weight.

Still, I'm happy I did this challenge and jump-started my weight loss. In retrospect, a three-week challenge would have been more manageable for me. I didn't start noticing the extra weakness until week 4.

Only 5 more workouts left before my final weigh-in. I won't be skipping any of them, and I will do each one to the absolute limit of my abilities. Because I can.