UnEggSpected

Easter used to be an important holiday in my family. I think it was my dad’s favorite holiday; I believe he liked Easter even more than Christmas. I don’t know if it was because his birthday was toward the end of March so sometimes Easter would be close to or fall on his birthday, if it was because of the traditional Polish food, or a combination. It could very well have been something else entirely. Whatever the reason, my dad loved it.

The traditional Polish Easter breakfast at my house included fresh kielbasa (with marjoram; HAD to have marjoram or it wasn’t holiday kielbasa), seeded rye bread, a butter lamb, the Placek my grandmother used to make, then later we bought from one of the many Polish bakeries that used to be all across town, Krakus ham, colored Easter eggs, potato salad, Niagara chocolate, and a cake my sister would make when she and her family would come to Buffalo for Easter.

Most years when her kids were younger, the whole family would come to Buffalo for Easter. We had some normal traditions, like the food, but one tradition was so odd that I’m sure it’s got to be unique to my family. As many traditions do, this started quite accidentally.

Way back in the 1900’s, Niagara chocolate would box their dimensional chocolate. It would be in a bed of shredded plastic or paper (aka EastroTurf) and boxed unlike today where it’s only wrapped in a plastic bag. One year, my mom miscounted the easter baskets, and instead of a cute pastel basket, the Easter Bunny hid my candy in a box. Not quite the “I got a rock” experience of Charlie Brown, but sure, I felt forgotten.

When I pulled out my Easter box, my niece and nephews thought that it was the coolest thing ever. They asked all year if this coming Easter would be the one where the Easter bunny hid a box instead of a basket. One by one, it turned into a rite of passage that the Easter bunny brought them a box instead of a basket.

Today is Easter. My kids are hundreds of miles away and I don’t feel the need to continue Easter traditions without them. I slept late. I made carrot cookies. I talked to my kids. That’s as traditional as today was.

*cake I made circa 2019

I hope you enjoyed your day, whether it was a holiday, a regular day, a rainy day, or a sunny day.

Leave me a comment and let me know what you did!

 

 

 

curses, it's the Blinking Cursor

The dreaded blinking cursor. Daring you to fill a page with words that make sense, words that are interesting, and words that say something. The last category for me would translate to something that people want to read.

That is a constant battle for me, the battle of who cares. Who wants to read my mundane anecdotes? Who wants to read about my musings? Who am I writing for? Then, when I get to that last question, I realize the answer is me. I am writing for myself. If someone else wants to accompany me on the journey, that’s fantastic! But, I will still keep writing.

On the days where it’s a struggle, I might describe the process to myself. I will try to be more mindful of what inspires me. I will try to establish a working title or a descriptive sentence. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. I recently mentioned that when I was writing more regularly, everything was inspiration for a blog post.

I wasn’t as concerned with anything close to perfection- I was more concerned with sharing content. I also think a major part of my consistent posting was because I had so much turmoil in my life that I needed a safe outlet.

My life is calmer now, which is great, but it also means that I don’t have ideas served to me on a platter. I need to forage for them, mine them from my daily life. Because my life is calmer, I struggle with believing that anyone will want to read about my unexceptional experiences. Why do I believe chaos equals creativity? Or at least fuels it? Why do I believe chaos equals interesting? This fuels the battle of who cares. There I am, staring at the white page, blank except for that (sometimes) intimidating blinking cursor. Mocking me, daring me to put something (anything) on the page.

I must confess, the cursor wins the battle most of the time, which is why my posting is sporadic. The blinking is almost audibly saying who cares. I’ve thought about joining a writing group, and I haven’t decided against it, but I haven’t done it, either. I’m not sure how I would do with deadlines. What if I got a prompt about a subject I wasn’t interested in, or knew absolutely nothing about? Knowing me, I would spend so much time researching the topic, I would miss the deadline.

Here I am speculating, almost talking myself out of trying something that might actually help me. Is it fear? What if I really put in an earnest effort? What if I finished one of my stories or the novel I’ve started so many times? What if I pushed my fledgling story out of the proverbial nest and it fell instead of soared? My hope, my fantasy of being an author would likely splat as well.

And there it is. In black and white.

To quote Stephen King, time to get busy livin’ or get busy dyin’. I think I’ll look for a writing group.

 

 

 

Galentine's Brunch and Experimenting with AI

I’m determined to get back to writing on a more regular basis. That means you’re going to be along for this experimental ride with me.

When I was writing more regularly, I would find inspiration in the most mundane places; that is to say, almost everywhere. Every minute of every day was blog post inspiration. These days, inspiration takes come coaxing to show itself. I sit and let my mind wander until something like an idea pops in. Sort of like a wheel spinning (a la Wheel of Fortune) round and round until it lands on a section I can work with.

Today, the subject wheel landed on baking, cooking, and recipes because I am making cupcakes for a Galentine brunch tomorrow. I’m (mumble) years old and have never been to a Galentine party. I mean, I don’t celebrate Valentine’s day but Galentine is different.

• Origin: Coined in 2010 by the character Leslie Knope in Parks and Recreation, defined as "ladies celebrating ladies".
• Date: Takes place on February 13th, the day before Valentine's Day.
• Purpose: To celebrate the special bond of female friendships, focusing on appreciation, support, and joy.
• Activities: Common celebrations include brunch, cocktail nights, gift exchanges, potlucks, or viewing movies.
• Significance: It serves as a positive, non-romantic alternative or addition to Valentine's Day, emphasizing friendship, empowerment, and mutual support among women. 

Since I enjoy cooking and baking, I volunteered to make cupcakes for tomorrow. I was going to make my tried-and-true chocolate cake recipe. That’s the first cake I ever made from scratch and that recipe has never failed me. But, I love to find a recipe and use it as inspiration. The problem with that- not using a recipe as written- is that I can almost never duplicate it. I’ve found a solution that is really easy.

My new trick is to let AI sprinkle in my tweaks. The fun part is you get immediate feedback of how your recipe will change. AI tells you how your changes will affect the taste, the texture, even the color. AI tells you if your cooking or baking time will change. If you ask, it will even compare the original recipe to the recipe with your changes and give you a review of the flavor changes.

I also used AI to tell me how much frosting to make. My biggest problem making frosting is that I always have some leftover. It’s usually too much to just pitch, too much to just eat, but not quite enough to save. Today, I told AI how many cupcakes I was making, what the size of the cupcakes were, and it told me precisely how much frosting to make. I am eager to find out if AI was correct and I will post an update.

Oh, by the way, here’s a link to my unadulterated, fail-safe chocolate cake recipe: 

Fail Safe Chocolate Cake Recipe

Maybe this isn’t my best post, but at least it’s something. The best way to get back to doing something is to actually do it. Geez, how profound hahaha. Seriously though, I need to stop being intimidated by the blank white page and blinking cursor. So stick with me, this should get better.

Addendum:

The AI cake was dry as heck. The flavor was okay.

The AI frosting recipe made too much.

I’ll stick to my intuition when it comes to tweaking recipes and only use AI to track the changes. 

Time in the Car With Mel

I was in the car for a while recently. Not a super long road trip, but definitely longer than a grocery run or a work commute. I couldn’t decide what music I wanted to listen to, so I asked Google to find a podcast for me. Google decided I should listen to Mel Robbins. I don’t know how Google knows I need help, but that’s likely another post. 

 This particular episode focused on family dynamics, though it really applies to many relationships. The gist was simple: if you love someone, accept them for who they are, because you aren’t going to change them. And yes, I know you already know that. I knew it too. But this had a slightly different spin. It revolved around her book (yes, I know — but it wasn’t just a shameless plug), The Let Them Theory. Judging by the dates on some of the Google posts about it, I’m late to the party. But if you’re just now hearing about it too, here are the key takeaways she highlights. 

 Key Concepts 

• Stop trying to control You cannot control other people, and trying to do so is exhausting and pointless. • Embrace “Let Them” Let others make their own choices and live with the consequences. It frees you from stress you don’t need to carry. 

• Focus on yourself Shift your energy from managing others to managing your own thoughts, actions, feelings, goals, and happiness. 

• Reclaim your power Letting go of control puts the power to create the life you want back in your own hands. 

How It Helps 

• Builds confidence You become more confident in your own choices, even when they make others uncomfortable. 

• Reduces stress You stop trying to manage everyone and everything around you. 

• Drives action You take risks and pursue your goals without being held back by fear of others’ opinions. 

 I don’t know if her theory does all of that, but the part that made the biggest impression on me was this: “You will never be able to control what is happening around you. You will also never be able to control your emotional responses, because they are automatic… But you can always choose what you think, say, or do in response to other people, the world around you, or the emotions that are rising up inside of you. That’s the source of all your power.” — Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory 

I already subscribed to the “Who cares?” attitude. That person doesn’t like me? Who cares. You don’t like what I’m wearing? Who cares. But what caught my attention was this: 

“Acceptance of another person, as they are, is the foundation of a healthy and loving relationship… The opposite happens when you pressure, change, criticize, push, or expect someone to behave differently than they are. This pressure puts you and your loved one in a battle for control.” — Mel Robbins, 

The Let Them Theory 

While I was listening, I started doing some self-examination. Since then, I’ve been practicing letting my emotions settle for a literal minute before I comment on something that makes me sad, hurt, or mad. I’m not 100% there — and probably never will be — but I’m aware of it and trying to be more mindful in my reactions. This was a big one for me: someone sees things differently than you? Let them. There’s a phrase often attributed to Eleanor Roosevelt: “What other people think of me is none of my business.” I’ve always believed that, and Mel takes it a few steps further. 

In this episode, Mel covers topics like: 

• Feeling left out? Good. You need better friends. 

• Why being the family peacekeeper creates a war inside you. 

• How to stop being the “fixer” in your relationships. • How rescuing people robs them of the problems they need to face. 

• How to tell a friend you’re sick of hearing about their relationship drama. 

• Why you shouldn’t be the “therapist” for your friend group. 

• Why it’s normal for friends to drop you when you start drawing boundaries. 

• The art of putting yourself first: “Let me be happy for a change.” 

 Watch the episode on YouTube: https://bit.ly/45OWCNr 

If any of this piques your interest, here’s a link to the podcast episode: 

Mel Robbins Let Them Theory Podcast

 I’m always looking inward for ways to be a better me. I think that’s why this episode resonated with me — well, that and the fact that her voice and delivery are soothing, entertaining, and comfortable. It seems like the Oracle of Google nailed this one. If you give the podcast a listen, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Message me or drop a comment.