The Battle of Who Cares

Aside from the obvious day-to-day struggles I go through all the time, I've been battling a much stronger force; the battle of “who cares”. The battle of “who cares” is a tough fight because when I sit down to write, the voice is screaming at me, “WHO CARES”!

When I started writing last summer, I told myself that I was writing for myself, and I meant it. I'm still writing for myself, but I don't want to write boring or uninteresting stuff, either. I've temporarily lost my perspective.

As awful as my experience was with Copaxone, it certainly made for some interesting stories. No, I'm not willing to go back on the Copaxone just for more interesting ideas. I'll stay on the side-effect-free Tecfidera until my blood work tells me otherwise, thank you very much.

I don't think the Tecfidera is helping exactly because I've had some fairly major flares, but I've also had life-changing events. It's impossible to know if the exacerbation would have been worse without the Tecfidera.

Today, I have a weird pain in my left elbow. It feels like I hit my funny bone really hard. It hurts and tingles at the same time. I don't recall hitting my elbow hard enough for this to be happening, but who knows? I took some Tylenol, so hopefully the pain will subside, at least a little.

I keep digging for my muchness- at least the muchness that I have left- but so far I'm coming up empty-handed. I'm feeling like the bag of potato chips I recently bought. The idea of potato chips was in the bag, but the chips themselves were tiny excuses for chips.

I'm thinking the best way to get over this would be to keep plugging away at the keyboard. So that's what I'm doing. Even if a post isn't exactly what I was expecting, I've got to start somewhere, right?

So for today, this is what I've got. It ain't much, but until my muchness surfaces, it will have to do.