You are welcome to accompany me on this haphazard journey through my life. Some days, there will be rambling posts about nothing in particular, some days there will be posts that will aspire to be profound, some days I may whine about feeling crummy, and some days there won't be anything at all.
This will be most like an online journal to save my thoughts for posterity, for my kids to read one day, and for you to laugh at, cry with, agree or disagree. Mostly, it will be to get the things I never say out loud out of my head.
I titled this blog "Trying to Find My Normal" for a multitude of reasons. My normal is very different from my normal of 15 years ago, 20 years ago, and even 5 years ago. I have never felt "normal", or average, even though by most measures, I suppose I am fairly average. Interesting sometimes, funny sometimes, but, fairly average.
My normal has been altered in many ways. I went from being a workaholic to a stay-home mom. I'm trying to cope with life-force sucking diseases while being a wife and mom. I'm a stay-home mom because of these life-force sucking diseases, and that was a huge adjustment all those years ago.
To illustrate a glimpse into my normal...
Today was a glorious day. Sunny and warm; the type of day you dream about during a January snowstorm. I planted seeds a while back, and today was to be the day I put the seedlings in my gardens. We planted a new hydrangea the other day, and I noticed it was quite droopy, so I got the hose to water it. I watered the plant, put away the hose, and that was it. I had depleted my energy stores justthatquickly. I was done.
I despise having to rely on anyone else to do things for me. Yet, in this normal, it's become a daily occurrence.
I'm entering a clinical trial for medicine that just might help me regain some of my me. I welcome the chance, because I miss the old me. Yes, some of might be that I'm getting older, but I don't think it's all due to aging, especially because I'm not old yet.
Anyway, this has been a glimpse of my psyche for today.
TTFN
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