B Positive: International Blood of Mystery

Not to brag or anything, but apparently, I'm kind of a big deal. Well, at least my blood is, anyway. And only after it's out of my body, in a lab vial. But I digress.

For the second Wednesday in a row, I am NOT at my neurologist's office for medication randomization, and for the second Wednesday in a row, it's because of my blood.

My mind is jumping all over the place like a frozen blueberry in a blender trying to decide how to start this post. Should I start from Tuesday's beginning, last week's beginning, or should I summarize the whole beginning...

I think I'll start with last week's fiasco of the “missing” blood work. In a previous post, I told you that my contact in the office didn't have the full report from the lab. Later in the week, I found out why.

When I finally did speak with my contact person again, she told me that the lab finally explained why they wouldn't release the full lab report, and why she kept seeing “internal query” when she tried to access the results. I had tested positive for hepatitis E antibodies. Yes, E, as in excruciating, exasperating and embittering. What's that? You never knew there was such a thing as hepatitis E? Welcome to the fairly large club, those of us who never knew it existed.

Hepatitis E is believed to be uncommon in the United States. However, some studies have found a high prevalence of antibodies to HEV in the general population. (source http://www.cdc.gov/hepatitis/hev/hevfaq.htm#section1)

I don't know what “large studies” have found the antibodies, and I don't know what the CDC calls a “high prevalence” because I haven't been that tenacious in my searching. Apparently the studies haven't been well-publicized, because the office acted like this was a major thing. We agreed I should repeat this test to make sure my blood didn't get contaminated in a lab.

I went for the blood draw again on Friday July 10.

I called Monday to check on the status of the lab work, considering my medication randomization was scheduled for Wednesday. No call back on Monday. I called Tuesday, explained the reason for my call, and the need to speak with a person, and still ended up with voicemail. I didn't leave a message. I decided I would just show up at my scheduled time on Wednesday.

My phone rings at 4:52 PM Tuesday afternoon. A glance at the caller ID tells me it's my neurologist's office. I'm guessing they aren't calling to confirm my appointment.

“Is this Lou Ann?”

Yes it is

“This is XYZ from the office. RST is out of the office, and I'm filling in for her. I'm sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday, I've been trying to get you an answer.”

PLEASE don't tell me that the antibodies are STILL there

“Well, I can't answer that. I don't have it”

Don't have what?

“We don't have your blood sample.”
Wait, you mean the sample drawn in YOUR lab on the first floor? You lost it?

“Not exactly. They send the blood out for testing, and I don't have your results or your sample.”

Really? I just assumed you did your own testing. Well, where is it?

“Edinburgh, Scotland.”

Excuse me, I thought you said Edinburgh, SCOTLAND.

“I did. They haven't sent me the results yet, so I don't want you to come in tomorrow. They won't accept you into the study without the full lab report. RST will be back in the office tomorrow, so I'll have her call you.”

All right, [EDINBURGH?!] thank you [SCOTLAND?!?!]

I disconnect the call, sit there, stunned, and I'm sure I was transformed into a slack-jawed mouth-breather for a while. Edinburgh. Scotland. SCOTLAND. My blood was flown to Scotland. They could have given me the courtesy of leaving the blood inside of me, and taking it in the original packaging, right?

Of all the blood labs in Buffalo, in New York state, in the Northeast, Midwest, in the United States, even in North America, none of them were qualified to test my blood? My blood is so special that it has to be sent to Scotland?

All I could do was laugh the hysterical laughter of a woman who has experienced the absurd too many times to count.

After the laughter (good band name, no?), I turned to my friend, Google. I searched every phrase I could think of regarding blood labs in Scotland. I searched for offices of the drug manufacturer to see if there was an office in Edinburgh. I searched for any tie-in to Scotland, no matter how far-fetched it seemed. I found nothing.

I'm reasonably sure there is a valid reason for using this specific lab. I mean, there has to be, right? My blood cannot possibly be so special that there's only one person in all the world qualified to study it, and that person is in Edinburgh. Or IS my blood so special that there's only one person in the world qualified to study it, and that person is in Edinburgh?

Right now, the possibilities and scenarios are ripe for speculation. I surmise the actual reason will be somewhat more prosaic.

For now, I'm going with I'm SO fan-cy...you already kno-o-ow