Things That I Know, but Never Really Wanted to Learn

There is a long list of Things That I Know, but Never Really Wanted to Learn.

Among them are (in no particular order):

How the replace the handle on a toilet. Useful, but I would have felt just as fulfilled without knowing this.

LA's Totally Awesome from Dollar Tree works when you want to clean crayon from a wall. So do baby wipes.

There is no good way to clean a whole bottle of baby powder that decorated your living room like confetti in Times Square on New Year's Eve.

It's nearly impossible to find the Frigidaire corporate phone number to replace a glass shelf for your refrigerator when said shelf exploded all over your house the night before a party.

Anything about Hepatitis E, including the fact that it even exists.

Anything about MS.

Anything about cancer.

How to give myself a shot.

Heck, let's just say illnesses in general, small and large. Again, useful, but I'd rather not need to have any of that knowledge.

Meat tenderizer really does work to reduce the pain and inflammation of a bee sting.

There was an episode of Glee comprised entirely of Beatles songs.

Cranking the heater full blast when your car overheats does help to cool the engine, but you also feel like your legs are on FIRE.

How to clean a three-year-old who can't shower because his arm is in a cast.

You can use the hose attachment on your vacuum to suck in millipedes and spiders.

How to change a broken pool hose while water is gushing out from it.

White vinegar takes that smell out from when you forget you did laundry, go to do laundry, and there's a load that's a few days old already in the washer. OK, that one's pretty useful, because white vinegar is a great laundry deodorizer in general. I guess that one doesn't really belong on this list.

GPS doesn't always work.

When you live in a 100+-year-old house, there is no such thing as an easy project.

Don't give a toddler a toolbox full of real tools and tell her to “fix something”

I know this list is far from complete, but you get the idea. We all have “accidental” knowledge...the things you learn when things go wrong, or at least not how you thought they would go. And you know what? It seems I remember these things more readily than others.